Barbra Visits Dalton AKA Rachel likes Yentl
by GrangerGirl26
Summary: Rachel finds out that Barbra Striesand is guest speaking at Dalton, and decides to dress up as a boy to get in.  Loosely based on Yentl  Klaine, Faberry, and there will probably be some Brittana :  Rated T right now, but it might go up. Language.
1. Chapter 1

I do not own Glee or Yentl. This is only the first chapter... second is in progress. The other ones should be a LOT longer. :)

Kurt didn't know whether or not he should tell her.

He had been sitting with his iPhone, his finger resting right above the "Call" button, for the last 10 minutes.

Blaine walked in. "Kurt, you gonna call her or not? She'll be happy for you, won't she?" he asked.

Kurt laughed. "Rachel? Oh no. She'll be so jealous that I wouldn't be surprised if she murdered me!"

Blaine chuckled. "Not that I want her to do THAT, but don't you think it's better she hears it from you, rather than from someone else?

Kurt scoffed. "Who could she possibly hear it from?"

"Do you really think Rachel isn't a fan of every single fansite there is of Barbra Streisand? And surely ONE of them has figured out that she's coming to Dalton" Blaine answered.

And then they both looked down at Kurt's phone, which had started singing "Don't Rain On My Parade," and had Rachel's name glaring up at them.

"Shit. FUCK!" Kurt swore. "Should I pick it up?"

"You'd better answer it!" Blaine advised. "It'll be worse if you don't!"

Taking a deep breath, Kurt pressed answer.

"Hello?"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

(Italicized stuff are facebook comments)

Rachel had been at home, listening to the "Hello Dolly" soundtrack (it wasn't her favorite, but she thought it was important to know all of Barbra's parts, because she knew she'd be perfect to play all of them) and surfing the internet on her pink-studded laptop.

She logged on to facebook, and saw that she had four notifications. The first two were Finn commenting on her statuses, begging her to get back together with him. She rolled her eyes. She had broken up with him for a reason… she needed to concentrate on her career, and he was holding her back. Besides, she had her eye on someone else.

Speaking of which, the third notification she checked was Quinn commenting on her profile picture, which was her holding one of her bedazzled microphones during karaoke night with her dads.

_Yeah, keep it up, manhands._

Rachel sighed and typed her answer.

_Quinn, please stop calling me that!_

And then she clicked on the fourth notification, and shrieked.

Her dads came running into her room a few seconds later, to find Rachel still screaming, jumping on her bed, and holding her hands to her mouth.

"You okay, darling?" asked Hiram.

"Ba-ba-barbra Striesand. Is coming. To DALTON!" Rachel was giddy.

"Wow." Leroy was happy, but he was also a bit worried. He thought he knew what was coming next… and he was right.

"Daddy?" Rachel was alert now, and had stopped jumping.

"Yes, darling?" Leroy asked, already shrinking back.

"How the hell and I supposed to get there?" Her voice had turned panicked.

"Rachel, honey… this isn't an open concert." Hiram started.

"I know but-"

"We can't get you in. Sorry, sweetie, but we just can't."

Not even Rachel Berry's famous waterworks with a side of sobs could get her what she wanted.

Utterly crushed, Rachel sat back down at her computer.

"Kurt Hummel has commented on your wall post."

KURT!

How DARE he not tell her! They were supposed to be friends!

She didn't stop to think, just picked up her phone and dialed Kurt's number.

"Hello?" he asked, sounding terrified.

As he should.

"Why didn't you call me?" She was proud of the way her voice got when she was angry. It had taken her years of work, and there were only a few people who could resist it.

Unfortunately, one of those people was Kurt Hummel.

"Because I didn't want you to react like this!" His drawling voice seemed to be trying to hide his true fear. In spite of herself, Rachel smirked.

"Kurt… I… I…" She tried to turn serious, but couldn't get the words out. It was lucky Kurt knew her as well as he did.

"I know. But what can I do?" He sighed. She really deserved this chance much more than he did.

"I don't know" Rachel admitted. "Is Blaine there?"

"He's in the other room. One sec. Blaine?"

Rachel laughed at the way his voice got all mushy when he said his boyfriend's name. She wondered if she sounded like that when she said-but no. She wouldn't think of that right now.

"Hello?" Blaine asked.

"Hey, Blaine."

"I'm really sorry you can't come, Rachel. But maybe we could drive up tonight and watch a movie at your place, to distract you? Just no Yentl," he joked.

"Of- of course." Rachel said, but her mind was somewhere else.

Yentl.

Of course.

Why hadn't she thought about it before?

Obviously she couldn't transfer to Dalton as Rachel Berry. Dalton was an all boy's school, and Rachel Berry was a girl.

But so was Yentl.

And if Yentl could do it… why couldn't Rachel?

"Rachel? Hello?" Blaine must have been wondering why Rachel hadn't said anything for the last minute or so.

"Yeah. I'm fine. You guys SHOULD come over. But we're not watching a movie."

"Then what are we-" Blaine began to ask, but Rachel cut him off.

"Put it on speakerphone. I need Kurt to hear this too. Are you two alone?"

"Yeah, but-"

"Good." Rachel said. "Kurt, can you hear me?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah." Kurt answered, sounding a bit bemused.

"Blaine?"

"We're both here." He sounded a bit exasperated, but Rachel didn't have time for that.

"Listen… I have a plan."

And Kurt and Blaine listened, intrigued, curious, and though neither of them would ever admit it, a bit awestruck.

Only Rachel could come up with an idea like this.


End file.
